She said her name was "party"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
whose ass print is on the piano?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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