The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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