so explain again why im purple
no
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
foreskin is a definite game changer
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
