It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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