I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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