There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
