Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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