love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
