Are we in a gay sports bar?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
