Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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