My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
