just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I deserve this hangover.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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