he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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