I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
