Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
