She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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