you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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