We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
