So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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