my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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