Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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