He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
