dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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