If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
