didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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