Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the condom got lost in my hair
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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