I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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