I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
