he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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