Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
