id be glad to
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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