I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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