it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
did i just pee glitter
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
