Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
