I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize