I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you win again, gameday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
