I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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