When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
