I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you had me at cake vodka
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
