drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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