So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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