Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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