The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
