yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
