he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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