last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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