I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And then my night got REAL pukey
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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