Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
