If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I will die if light touches me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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