I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
