if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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