girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
His nipple licking is glorious
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