I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize