You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
