I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the day after is always just damage control
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
