That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
