I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
