She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
