sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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